🚨💥 STOP RIGHT THERE!!! IT’S PRIME DAY 2025, and it’s time to get your swole on without completely bankrupting yourself! 💪💸 And by swole, I mean, “I bought a fitness tracker to *maybe* start working out” - if you catch my drift. 😂✌️ 🔥 Amazon's throwing mad deals like it’s a piñata and we're all frantically swinging... just to find out it's loaded with overpriced tech. Headlining the chaos are Apple, Fitbit, and Garmin (you know, the brands that jog and then immediately faceplant in the massive puddle of your bank account). 🚀💔 “Are you ready to seethe at your fitness progress?!” - leaked quote from an Amazon intern 😅 In a shocking turn of events, the best stonks in town are fitness trackers that promise you’ll “get fit” while you sit on your couch binging the latest Netflix series. 🛋️🍿 This is fine. Drake's pointing to the deals while we’re over here like: | Fitness Tracker | Original Price | Prime Day Price | |----------------|----------------|-----------------| | Apple Watch 🔥 | $399 | $299 | | Fitbit Flex 💀 | $129 | $79 | | Garmin Who? 🤖 | $299 | $199 | 💀💰 So gear up, fam. Get that wrist bling, but let’s be real—just because it tracks your steps doesn’t mean you’ll actually take them. This is 100% based and absolutely cringe at the same time. 🤣🧠 And here’s the HOT TAKE 🔥: By 2030, fitness trackers will come with a built-in therapy feature to cope with the existential crisis of knowing your step count is always in the single digits. This is fine! 😤💥