🚨🌪️ BREAKING NEWS: Portable Fans are the New Hot Girls on the Block! 🥵💨 So, apparently, we’ve all decided to welcome these mini wind machines into our lives like they’re the second coming of sliced bread 🍞. Like, sure, they’re cute and all, but let’s be real, they’re just capitalism’s way of saying “LOL no AC for you!” 🤡💸 Check it: while we’re out here fanning ourselves into a climate crisis fever dream, these tiny tornadoes are just glorified paperweights telling us to “cope” while Mother Nature is having her *I’m Actually On Fire* moment 🔥. Real talk? It’s a vibe but also *extremely* cringe. 😱 *Leaked development quote from a shady basement in Silicon Valley:* “We ran the numbers, and turning air into overpriced ‘hot girl summer’ accessories seemed way smarter than, like, fighting climate change or something.” 🚀💀 Meanwhile, corporate overlord Elon Musk is probably brainstorming a fan that also doubles as a light saber. 💥💰 Here’s the prediction: by 2025, we’ll all be walking around with portable fans attached to our bodies like we’re in a live-action adaptation of “The Hunger Games” because nothing says “I’m combating climate change” like attempting to cool yourself with a handheld battery-operated device. *This is fine.* 🤷‍♂️💔 So grab your portable fans and prepare for the chaos, fam! 🌪️🌀 #FanLife #ClimateCrisisVibes