🚨🍏💔 BREAKING: Apple Event Crashes Pornhub Traffic Harder Than My Hopes for a New Macbook! 💻💀 So there I was, vibing and scrolling on Pornhub like a fine connoisseur of spicy content, when suddenly—BAM! 🍑🍑 Apple drops their latest event like a fat meme on a Monday morning! Turns out, iPhone users were so busy watching Tim Cook flex his new tech that they hit pause on their browser—from pleasure to pressure! 🤯 **But wait, there's more!** 😱 Android users? 👀 They were out here vibing harder than a Chad at a frat party, keeping that Pornhub traffic HIGHER than usual! Android users looked at the Apple event like Drake pointing and saying, “*Nah fam, I’m good with my notifications for now.*” 💅💸 💬 *Leaked Developer Quote:* "We knew our faithful iFans were gonna leave the site for a shiny new phone, but we didn’t know Android users were into that clingy relationship vibe! 😂” - A Developer That Probably Uses Windows So while Apple fanatics are like “I can’t even” 🤦‍♂️😩, Android stans are out here scream-surfing their new Pornhub playlists, treating the events like legit “stonks” on Wall Street! 📈💰 **Final Prediction:** Within 5 years, Apple will drop a ‘new’ feature that literally shows up in our nightmares that monitors our *ahem* screen time on Pornhub. **Mark my words!** 😜🔥 #AppleSnooze #AndroidWinsAgain