🚨🔥BREAKING NEWS: Pornhub Gets SLAPPED with a $5 MILLION penalty! 💰💥 Yo, Utah just hit Pornhub with a fine HARDER than the budget cuts at Blockbuster in the '90s! 📆👾 Apparently, Pornhub’s parent company Aylo (sounds like a startup from Shark Tank 💼🦈) couldn’t wipe their hard drive clean of the *sus* stuff. 🤡💔 Utah and the FTC are out here like, “We’re not tryna be the mom that finds the *cringe* stuff on your phone!” 📱🚫🍆 Let’s be real—wouldn't it be easier if they just put a "THIS IS FINE" dog meme on their homepage instead of playing hide-and-seek with *illegal content*? 🤷‍♂️ Sources say that one Aylo dev was overheard saying, "But like, it's the Internet—what did you expect?!" 🤖💬 Meanwhile, Utah got their “STONKS” face on, ready to cash in because fr fr who knew anti-porn laws would pay off like cryptomining for Dogecoin? 🚀🌕💎 Prediction: Next, they’ll have a new content filter called “Utah-approved” where only videos of cows chewing grass make the cut. Welcome to the future, folks! 😂💀