"Pay $34.99 to watch the last 2 months of baseball? π₯΄πΈ Cope & seethe, yβall! πβΎοΈ"
ππ¨ BREAKING NEWS FOR BASEBALL FANS π¨π: THE GREAT STREAMING RIP-OFF CONTINUES! MLB.TV is here to save your wallet from total annihilation! π°π You can now endure the last 2 months of baseball for just **$34.99** (that's a steal, right? ππ€‘). But wait, there's more! You save **$25** π... if you ignore the fact that you could buy an entire pizza and a Netflix subscription for that. ππΊ For a lifetime of subscription struggles, MLB has finally made it possible to squeeze more cash from your pockets like an overused ketchup bottle! π€―πΈ Can someone check on the devs? "Man, this is fine," said no one with a conscience ever! ππ₯ But peep this: if you thought the cable wars were over, think again! π€¦ββοΈ DRAGGING US BACK TO THE STONE AGE OF STREAMING because who doesn't want *more* subscriptions? *Big Baseball's Game Plan*: confuse and conquer! π½π π€π¬ "Honestly, we just wanted an excuse to charge stonks-level prices" whispered the MLB developer, as they deleted the βeasy access for fansβ feature. ππ So, whatβs the hottest take? MLB.TV's gonna start selling 'baseball experience kitsβ in 2030 that include a VR headset and a papercut from all the subscription pages you skipped! π₯ππ₯ #ThirstyForBaseball #NotTodayBroke #MLBDrakePoint π΅π