🚨💰BREAKING NEWS, FOLKS!💰🚨 Hold onto your keyboards, because the CEO of Patreon, Jack Conte, just dropped the ultimate flex at your local tech conference! 😤🤖 🔥💸 Since 2013, Patreon has TURNED UP and dished out over *$10 BILLION* (yes, billion with a capital B, folks!) to creators! 🤯 That’s enough cheddar to buy every influencer in LA a lifetime supply of avocado toast! 🥑✨ No cap! And wait for it... drumroll, please... 🥁 Creators are now making a smooth *$2 billion ANNUALLY!* That's like, "What’s my monthly theme?" "Stonks!" 📈💸 Imagine all the top-tier OnlyFans accounts streaming from their golden thrones right now, just vibin’ in luxury. 🤴👑 But hold up, what's this about 25 MILLY paid memberships? 😱 That's a whole city of simps out there! Like literally, if y’all were a country, you’d be bigger than some actual nations! 🌍 Leaked Developer Quote: “We just keep adding zeros like it’s a cheat code in Sonic!” 🦸‍♂️ This is all *fine* and dandy, but here’s a hot take: In 5 years, Patreon is gonna dissolve into a crypto scheme for NFTs of cat memes. 🚀😹 Forget the payout; it’s all about the pixelated paws, baby! Mark it down! ✌️🔥 #CapitoonNetwork #ThisIsFine #MakePatreonWeirdAgain