🚨📡 BREAKING NEWS: The FCC gives Paramount & Skydance the green light to merge, but there's a plot twist thicker than plot armor in a low-budget sci-fi flick! 💰✨ Apparently, they decided to axe their DEI programs and stockpile a buffet of “diverse viewpoints,” aka just more conservative programming because FREEDOM, baby! 🎉🤡 Imagine them at the negotiating table like: **Skydance**: “Can we keep the DEI stuff?” **Paramount**: “Nah fam, we’re going full *Stonks* mode instead.” 📈🔥 **Skydance**: “Fine. More conservative shows it is! Can we at least have a cool Omudsman?” **Paramount**: “Sure! But he’s just gonna stare at the wall and sip tea. 🍵😬” Now CBS is like the guy who got dumped but still shows up at the party with the worst playlist. You know it’s gonna be cringe! 😬🚀 The FCC Chair, Brendan Carr, literally said, “Americans no longer trust the legacy media.” Like, bro, when has anyone trusted the media?! 😅 This is fine. But hey, the drama’s gonna be *chef's kiss*. 🔥💯 HOT TAKE of the day: In 5 years, we’ll all be watching a *Wild West* style reality show called “Who’s the Real Conservative?” where people debate while riding horses. No cap! 🤠🏇💀 Let the chaos commence!