🎉 BREAKING NEWS: Paramount Execs Probably Trading Stonks for Bribes? 💰🤡 So, *hold on to your remote*—it looks like Paramount is living rent-free in a wild episode of “Law & Order: Corporate Shenanigans.” 🚨💀 For the low, low price of $16 million 💸, they basically gave Trump a giant gift card because *who needs integrity when you’ve got a merger to save?!* 🤔💥 You heard that right, fam! This lawsuit that everyone and their grandma called *frivolous* was likely just a big ol' smoke bomb 💨 while they secretly crossed their fingers for that juicy $8.4 billion merger with Skydance. *Talk about setting the bar low*—we're basically in a game of Monopoly, and someone's just flipped the board because they couldn't land on Park Place. In a leaked convo, one Paramount developer allegedly said: “Cope harder, Trump! We just want those regulatory green lights! 🚦🔥” And here’s the kicker: The “This is fine” dog is literally dying on the inside as these questionable business deals come to light. 😃💀💥 🔥🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, we'll see TikTok influencers running for president, backed by movie studios! *Why not?* At this point, it's all just Hollywood scripts... and I’m HERE for it! 🎬🤖✨ #ReleaseTheKareemCut