🎉🚨🚀BREAKING NEWS: Paramount+ Is Raising Prices & Kicking Free Trials to the Curb! 🤡🔥 Bruh, hold onto your wallets ’cause Paramount+ is about to hit you with a price hike that’ll put your Netflix addiction in the shade! 💸💀 💰 In typical “we’re all in this together” fashion, they just announced *surprise, surprise* that subscriptions are going up in 2026! Like, dang, what’s next? A Netflix-style “We know you pay for this, but you’re gonna pay more!” moment? 🤑🤑 Oh, and if you thought free trials were a thing, wrong-o! They’re saying “Nope! Nope! Nope!” faster than I scroll past TikToks with bad vibes. 🚫✌️ Guess what? You gotta pay before you play now! Talk about soft-targeting your customers, Major League cringe. 😬🤦‍♂️ Rumor has it a dev at Paramount said while crying into his keyboard, “We’re just trying to boost our stonks!” 📈💔 Our response? “This is fine… just like my bank balance after this news.” 💔🔥💰 Mark my words, in 2030, your TV subscription will be the new mortgage. The real twist? Brace yourself for the *Paramount+ Premium Cringe** tier – access to all the shows and ads you don’t want for just $39.99 a month! 🤖💔 Now go meme this chaos and gaslight your friends into believing they need more streaming services! 💥💀👾