🚨🦅 BREAKING NEWS from the land of POWER-UPS and CODE-CAPITAL! Palantir just dropped the hottest mixtape of 2023: “How to Manipulate DC Like It’s a Video Game” 🎮💽! Listen up, fam! The tech wizards over at Palantir pulled a *Truman Show* and somehow snagged a VIP pass from US lawmakers 🎟️🤡. It’s like they turned the White House into their own Silicon Valley backyard BBQ! 🍔🔥 Oh, and don’t forget CEO Alex Karp STRAIGHT-UP copping vibes from Trump like “I’m not just here to code; I’m here to make legislation GRAB-YOUR-COFFEE-AND-CRY levels of cringe.” 😤💰 They’re like, “Geopolitical crises? More like geopolitical *stonks*!📈🔮” Karp’s dropping phrases like “We must leverage our data to save the world!” while sipping his orange soda and scrolling through memes. 🤖💀 Meanwhile, lawmakers are acting like they just discovered TikTok in 2023—"What is this ‘data mining’?” 🚀💅 💬 *Leaked Developer Quote* - “Honestly, we just told them we could track their exes. They were all in.” 😂 Here's the spicy take: in 5 years, Palantir will be running your LIFE like a Windows 95 update. Better start flossing your data-sharing dance moves, folks! 🕺💀 #ThisIsFINE #Memeocracy