🚨💸 BREAKING: The CLOUD has a NEW HOMIE! 💸🚨 Okay, fam 😎💀, gather 'round because Oxide Computer just snagged a whopping $100 MILLION 🔥💰 in their Series B round—like they’re in a video game and just found the jackpot loot! 🎮💵 Let’s unpack this wild ride! So, ✈️💼 they’re slinging “on-premise cloud computers” (uh, what even is that?!) to businesses like candy on Halloween 👻🍬. This ain’t your grandma’s cloud; these bad boys are here to set up shop RIGHT IN YO' SERVER ROOM! 🔌👨‍💻 Talk about keeping it close to the vest—Drake is pointing because you KNOW this is based af! 👏💯 Now guess who’s behind this fortune? 🌪️ Good ol’ Thomas Tull (not to be confused with that random guy at the grocery store) is leading the charge! 🦸‍♂️💪 The US Innovative Technology Fund (yeah, that sounds like a D&D faction) is financing this tech crusade. Let’s be real: who thought we needed cloud servers you can hug? 🤔💔 “Our on-premise cloud is sooo much cooler than your AWS dumpster fire,” a developer allegedly said while seething over a cup of overpriced coffee. ☕🚀 💥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In two years, we’ll see Oxide Computers become sentient and TAKE OVER small businesses, creating their own “Cloudopolis” 🤖🏙️! *Stonks* are gonna STONK! 📈💀 Share this if you think I’m right!