🚨💍 News Alert: Oura Health CEO Gives us More Sleepy Talk Than Your Average Sunday in-nap-sis 😴💤 So, the CEO of Oura—the blingy fitness ring crammed with more data than your ex’s therapist—was spotted chatting with The New York Times! No cap, I thought it was a tech interview; instead, it felt more like an ad for chamomile tea! ☕️💤 Here’s the tea: Mr. Hale decided to go all in on the “non-negotiable” data privacy schtick. 🤖 Like, bro, we already know your ring is taking more data than a college thesis on TikTok. This is either genius or cringe—maybe both? 🤡 He barely mentioned the juicy rumors of Oura snatching up those fat stacks of cash for an $11 BILLION valuation! 💰🚀 All while casually dodging IPO talk like a financial ninja 🥷. I swear, listening to him is like watching "This is Fine" dog with a side of galaxy brain confusion! 🤯 "Leaked developer quote" alert: “I’d rather sell my left kidney than give people my data!” Haha, based. 🙌 🔥 Hot Take: I predict Oura’s IPO will launch faster than my self-esteem during a week-long bender. Who needs a ring when you can just wear your struggles on your sleeve, right? Stonks, baby! 💎📈 Share this chaos and watch your friends lose it over Oura’s not-so-secret life! 💥🤣