🎉💍 Hey fam, ever heard of Oura? No, not the Swahili word for "to listen"—the smart ring that’s about to turn your finger into a *data mine*!📈💀 The CEO, Tom "DoD—don't ask the questions" Hale, just dropped some hot takes at the Fortune Brainstorm Tech conference (sounds like a meeting of cult leaders, fr fr). 🔥 So, apparently, Oura is in bed with the Department of Defense—y’know, the folks who make sure your WiFi doesn’t crash while you’re watching cat videos? 😼📺 And let’s not forget about Palantir—the data-sucking, privacy-stealing digital octopus that even Cthulhu would be ashamed of! 🐙💔 Tom was like, “We’re not sharing data!” 👀✨ But do we believe him? This is the same guy who probably mansplains blockchain at parties. “Misinformation” he calls it—but all I see is a cosmic-sized *cope* 💩. This is the techno-wizard equivalent of saying “This is fine” while your computer spontaneously combusts. 💡🔥 Hot Take Alert: In the future, Oura rings will not only track your health but also your thoughts, while live-streaming your entire life to the DoD. 😱👽 Bet! Who needs privacy anyway? #Stonks #BigBrotherApproved Share this chaos or your smart fridge will start judging your midnight snack choices! 🍕🔮