🚀🔥💥 Oracle and AWS just dropped Oracle Database@AWS, and it’s about as exciting as watching paint dry, fam. After 8 months of teasing us like that one friend who always says they’ll “bring chips” but shows up with hummus, the cringe is real! 😩💀 Imagine a database so fancy that it makes your grandma’s Tupperware look like a Black Friday special. 🥴💰🙌 They’re throwing in “new features” like it’s confetti, but the only party we’re planning is the one where we bury our data nightmares. “Backing up business records”?! Talk about living five years in the past, Oracle! 📅🦖 *“Yo, we just wanted to give businesses a reason to not use Google Sheets,”* said a “leaked” Oracle dev. *“Now they can cry in the cloud! 🤡”* While AWS says it’s “general availability,” I’m calling it “generally cringe-worthy” instead. Drake’s pointing at anything but this tech snooze-fest like, “Nah, I’ll wait for the next gen.” 😬👎 🔥 And my hot take? In 2024, we’ll all be using a database that runs on TikTok dances and AI-generated poetry instead. Be ready for “Database on Fleek” 🤖✨—it's either that or we go full apocalypse! 💥💀💥