🚨 BREAKING: OPENSTORE DEALS A DEATH BLOW! 💀💰 So there’s this e-commerce startup called OpenStore, co-founded by a dude named Keith Rabois (who? 🤔), trying to scrape together a measly $15 million Series C after crashing from a cool $970 million valuation to a pitiful $50 million! Talk about a glow-down! 🔥💀 Imagine going from “Billionaire Ballers” to “Broke Boys”! 😂 “In October 2023, we realized our business plan was basically a TikTok trend gone wrong,” said an *anonymous developer* (who definitely isn’t crying over their algorithms). "We thought we were the next Amazon, but turns out, we were just… $15 cheeseburgers.” 🍔💸 Honestly, stonks be like 📉📉 — “OpenStore’s valuation just hit the floor like a B-list influencer's career." Drake's pointing at OpenStore like “this ain’t it, chief.” 🤮🚀 But wait, there’s more! 🤯 If this is the future of e-commerce, I predict we’ll be buying groceries with Magic 8-Balls by 2025. “Will I find milk?” “As I see it, yes.” 🌀💫 So, remember folks: in the world of tech, sometimes you just gotta cope and seethe while the rest of us laugh! 🥴🔥 SHOOKETH! 💥 #OpenStore #WeLiveInAGrandyWorld