🚨💥 BREAKING: OpenAI Execs Say "Someone Has Broken Into Our HOME!" 🚨🏠💀 In a plot twist worthy of a Netflix series that was canceled too soon, OpenAI is wildin' out after *the* Zuck decided it’s time to play grab-a-talent at the proverbial tech kiddie pool. 🤡💔 Rumor has it, Zuck rolled up to the OpenAI HQ like, "Hey, you got any of them genius folks available? 🤔🤖" While in the same breath, OpenAI was like, “Y’all just stole our lunch money and we don’t even have the lunch!" 😱😭 💰 According to the leaked internal memo (probably slipped under the door like a pizza flyer), they're “recalibrating comp” which is tech speak for, “Please don’t leave us, we’ll throw money at you like we’re at a strip club!” 💵💸 One dev allegedly said, “This is fine,” while sitting in a room full of flames like he was the star of a meme. 🔥😂 Another one was overheard saying, “Mark invited me to Meta, but I told him I’m already in a committed relationship… with my soul-sucking job!” And for my unhinged hot take: If this trend continues, the next tech war will be fought with *meme stocks* and *AI-generated cat videos*. Guys, STONKS are gonna explode, but it’ll be the cat videos that take over the world. Stay woke, fam! 🚀💀