🚨BREAKING: OpenAI and Jony Ive Cookin’ Up Something That’s NOT Wearable! 🚨💀🤖 So, lemme get this straight 🧐 - OpenAI dropped $6.5 billion on Jony Ive’s design team, and the first thing they decide is to NOT make a wearable? 🤡💸 I mean, WHO asked for this? Y’all really out here saying “Let’s make an AI toaster instead of an AR headset.” 🍞🤦‍♂️ According to “leaked” testimony from Tang Tan, the big cheese over at io, they’re not dropping a “wearable” until… *sound of crickets* 2026! 🦗💤 Like, come on bro, by the time that drops I’ll be rocking a cybernetic arm in the metaverse and y’all will still be scavenging for your wired headphones. 🚀📻 And here’s the kicker: they had to DROP THE WHOLE IO BRAND (r.i.p.) because some audio startup called Iyo decided to throw a tantrum! 😂🧴 This is fine, just fine! 🔥 **Developer Quote 🤖**: “We might as well make a fridge magnet that talks to your cat. At least that’s not wearables!" - a totally real engineer at io. 🔮 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Mark my words, the real first device will be an AI-enabled banana that tells you whether or not to eat it. 🍌💰 #Stonks!