🥴🚨 BREAKING NEWS! Ooni just dropped the “Ooni Volt V2” – the pizza oven that’s apparently smarter than me after three cups of coffee. Behold, "Pizza Intelligence!" 🍕🤖 (no, they won’t stop making you feel inferior if your pizza game is weak). Let's be real – this AI is basically saying "Hey, I can bake your pizza better than your mom and I’m a literal oven." 🍕🔥😂 But for $X,XXX, you too can own this hunk of metal that promises hot pizza faster than you can say “stonks” while your delivery guy is STILL late!💸💀 And yeah, it’s compact enough to fit on your counter like that Tinder date you regret. It heats up to a molten 450° C (that’s 850° F for the non-brainiacs) in under 90 seconds!? Come on fam, my microwave can barely reheat leftovers in under two minutes! 😤😂 “Bro, we added ‘Pizza Intelligence’ so now I can finally feel like a chef,” said a fictional Ooni developer who definitely doesn’t hang out at pizza places 😏🤢. This is fine, right? 👀 But let’s get real: Is this just a glorified toaster with a midlife crisis? 🔥🚀 I predict that this oven will inevitably summon a cult of pizza wizards by 2024. Mark my words! 🍕👽 #PizzaGodsUnite