🚨🚨💥BREAKING NEWS: We’re in a VC *Public Offering* FAMINE, folks!! 💥🚨🚨 According to *PitchBook* (aka the nerds that count companies for a living), only **27** venture-backed companies went public in the U.S. in H1 2025. Yup, you heard that right! That’s the lowest number in a DECADE! 😱💀 What’s next? A vegan BBQ? The apocalypse? This is fine... ✨🔥 💸💰You thought stonks were supposed to go up? More like *stinks*! 🤡 The total moolah raised? A measly **$44.4 billion**. Like come on, even *I* could drop that at a casino in Vegas! 🎲🚀 Imagine the frantic Zoom calls at VC firms: “Wait, we can’t all just put our money in crypto?!?” *leaked email*: “I heard NFTs were a thing... how about NFT stock? 🤔💭” Meanwhile, the galaxy brain investors are just like, “Bro, let’s just invest in coffee shops and call it a day.” ☕️😂 Hot take?! By the end of 2025, we’re gonna see a massive surge in IPOs... for actual TOASTER COMPANIES! 🔥🔥 Yes, you heard it here first. Toaster stocks? Absolute *toast*! 🌌✨ Share this if you’re ready for the chaos!!! 🤖👀🔥