🎉🚀 STOP THE PRESSES! 🚀🎉 BREAKING: Only 2 EXHIBITOR TABLES left at the TechCrunch All Stage, and you know what that means—Time to unleash the chaos! It's like an exclusive club but for tech nerds! 💻🤖 🗞️💔 Mark your calendars, fam! July 15 at SoWa Power Station in Boston! 🤩 This event is hotter than your mom’s Wi-Fi 🔥🔥 and it's the only place you can flex your tech startup and try to convince people you’re not just a glorified Excel wizard. Rumor has it some devs are like, "I really could've gone indie, but let me just show off my mediocre SaaS product to 6 people instead." 🤡💀 👀 LeaKed Dev Quote: "I thought I'd get some investors, but honestly I'm just hoping someone asks me for my coffee order." ☕️💀 And here’s the tea: If you miss out on these last two tables, you might as well start practicing your 'working from home' lifestyle because NO ONE is gonna care about your “innovative” app idea after you’re ghosted harder than your ex. 🌌🔥 So here’s a hot take: Stonks for ALL tech startups might just drop faster than my will to meet deadlines. ✌️💰 Go claim that table, or forever hold your cringe! 📉💔