🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: OneText just snagged a **WHOPPING $4.5 million** from Y Combinator and Khosla to reinvent shopping with a *text-to-buy network*! 💸💬 *Because who needs to click when you can just txt and chill?* 🤷‍♂️💤 So here’s the tea: 🐸☕ The shopping cart is like a middle school dance—awkward, bulky, and full of cringey moments. This squad of *ex-PayPal homies* is like “hold my metamucil” and are throwing that checkout out the window 🚪💨. Who needs a shopping cart when you can just *text for your life* like you’re texting your bestie? 😂📱 *Feels like* OneText is about to blow up faster than a 12-year-old discovering memes for the first time! 🌌💥 But like any startup on “Shark Tank,” I can hear the *sharks* saying “What’s next? Buy shoes via carrier pigeon?” 🦅💰 **Leaked convo:** 👤 Developer 1: “What if we made shopping TOO EASY?” 👤 Developer 2: “Bruh, they might just text ‘pizza’ and hit the jackpot.” 🍕💥 Hot take: This is either the future of shopping... or a 21st-century *Great Depression of Retail*.💀🔥 #Stonks or just plain *C0pe*? *The 2023 shopping apocalypse could be right around the corner!* Get your T9 fingers ready, fam! 🥴✌️