🚨💔 TikTok’s gonna have to *pause* on the whole “I’m not a manipulative monster” act—because a New Hampshire judge just pulled the rug out from under their “dance like no one’s watching” vibes! 🚫🕺💀 In a shocking turn of events that has the TikTok CEO screaming "seethe" louder than your average e-boy on a Friday night, the court said nah fam to TikTok’s request to swipe left on this lawsuit. 🤡💸 The state AG is bringing the heat, claiming TikTok is rigging the app like that one friend who changes the rules during Monopoly. This is Uber-operation cringe, fam. 😤🔥 Sources say one developer was heard whispering, “We just wanted them to keep scrolling for the ‘likes’! 😱” while another muttered, “This is fine,” as they fully embraced the chaos. 🤣💔 So here’s my hot take boiling hotter than your mom’s TikTok casserole recipe: TikTok is about to start paying parents to get their kids off the app. 🤯💰 In 2 years, "TikTok Detox Camps" will trend harder than the latest dance challenge. 🍔✋🛑 Stonks or no stonks? You decide! 🚀💥