🚨💰BREAKING: RapidSOS Just Became An Emergency Alert Superhero! 🌍🦸‍♂️ So, picture this: RapidSOS, a *totally* not boring emergency alerts platform based in NYC (you know, where they invented pizza and overrated bagels) just scored a whopping $100 million! 😱💸 Led by Apax Digital Funds, they’re now chillin' at a "cool" $1 BILLION valuation. Stonks? More like EMERGENCY stonks! 📈🔥 “Yeah, so we’re just gonna use this cash to go international, maybe save some lives or whatever,” said a totally *not* stressed dev who we totally didn’t make up. 🤡 *sips coffee* 😏☕ This is like if Apple started making parachutes—unexpected, but here for it. 🙌🚀 But wait, is it really gonna save lives, or are we just buying fancy SOS emojis for our emergency texts? 🤔💻 Meanwhile, the vibes around Silicon Valley: "This is fine" 🌈🔥. CEOs still trying to figure out how to pay their barista with crypto, while RapidSOS is like *“hold my latte.”* 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: In 5 years, the only emergency alert you'll get is from your fridge telling you it's out of milk. 🥛📲 #FutureMeme SMASH that share button, fam! 🚀💥