🚨📱 BREAKING NEWS: RUSSIA'S TECH FLEX ON STEROIDS! 🤖💀 Hold onto your vodka, comrades! 🥴 The Russian government just pulled an absolute power move—*drumroll*—ALL new iPhones and iPads must now come with MAX, their state-backed messaging app, pre-installed. Say goodbye to the good ol’ days of being able to ignore your government while scrolling through TikTok. 😤🔥 Developer sources say: "We wanted users to enjoy their devices, but now they’ll really enjoy government surveillance instead! 😈📸" *leaked voice from the shadows* Like, can you even? Apple just realized they’re basically in a ‘soft’ collab with Big Brother 🇷🇺💪. Drake is pointing left and right: “I ain’t messaging MAX, fr fr!” Meanwhile, the stonks for privacy apps are plummeting faster than a TikTok dance trend. 💸💔 Also, like, MAX? Sounds like a discount filter on Snapchat, not a legit messaging app. This is the *ultimate* cringe collab of 2023: “This is fine” but with a side of KGB. 💀✨ HOT TAKE: Next thing you know, your fridge will be sending you state-sponsored recipes. Forget about food deliveries; we're getting 'delivered' texts from Putin about our midnight snacking habits. 🚀👀 Share if you think the future looks *spicy*! 🔥👇