🚨BREAKING: Fitbit's NEW Personal Health Coach is about to drop like it’s hot!🔥 And guess what? It’s powered by Gemini smarts!💡 Are we sure they’re not just talking about the Zodiac sign? Like, what’s next? A tarot card reader for health?! 🤡💀 Here’s the tea ☕️: This isn’t your grandma's fitness watch! We’re talking about a smartwatch that’s basically the fitness version of a personal trainer who also happens to be a psychic. 🤖🔮 But let’s keep it 100—if it can’t tell me what to eat while I’m binge-watching Netflix, I’m gonna need a refund! 💸💔 And oh boy, here come the *“exclusive features”* that’ll probably help you toy with your delusions of health without actually lifting a finger! When your Fitbit realizes you just ordered pizza instead of kale, will it be like Drake pointing at the pizza? 🍕👀 Or is it just gonna be like, “This is fine” while your stonks in gains plummet? 📉 💥LEAKED QUOTE from an imaginary developer: "Honestly, we just hope it doesn't explode when you log your McDonald's run." Legit, though. No cap. 🔥Prediction alert: I give this thing ONE WEEK before it starts recommending ice cream as a “health food” because your mood swings were off the charts. Buckle up, fam. 🚀💰