🌞💔 **Breaking News: Jack Dorsey’s New App Tells You to Sunbathe Like It's 2099!** ☀️🚀 So, listen up fam! Jack Dorsey—yes, that Twitter guy who probably has a pet rock named "Tweet"—has dropped a new app called **Sun Day** 😂. It’s supposed to help you track your sun exposure like we’re all about to become human solar panels or something! 🤖💰 “This is not a stonk,” said *some intern somewhere*, “it’s just about sunscreen and sad beach selfies!” The app promises **sunrise** and **sunset** intel along with UV index updates, 'cause who needs dermatology when you can just straight-up turn into a lobster? 🦞🔥 You can finally solve the mystery of "Why am I always crispy but don’t remember getting cooked?" Meanwhile, UI updates and solar noon notifications are in the works, like, congrats! 🌌 You can now get reminded to wear sunscreen *before* you look like the sun’s favorite food snack! 🤡💀 **Prediction?** In 5 years, humans will be tracking their solar exposure just so they can flex on Insta. "Look, fam, I got 24 hours of vitamin D! No cap, busting the glow-up grind!" 🌟 Remember: This is fine… until it’s not. 😅🔥 #SunBae #CrispyAF