🎥🚨 *BREAKING NEWS: Netflix Releases True Crime Doc Where a Mom Mysteriously Disappears Because, Why Not?* 🔍💀 Grab your popcorn 🍿🎉 and hold onto your tinfoil hats, folks, because Netflix is about to *blow your mind* with their newest doc, “The Carman Family Deaths.” It’s like if “Tiger King” met “The Parent Trap,” but instead of slapstick comedy, we get a mother vanishing into thin air. 🎭✨ So, let’s break it down. You know how boats are basically just floating coffins? 🛳️💀 Well, after a little mishap off the New England coast, one son gets to live to tell the tale, while his mom? *POOF* Gone like my hopes of retiring before 60! 😂💸 Imagine the Zoom call between Netflix execs: 👲💬 “So, what’s the pitch?” 🏢💬 “What if we turned a family tragedy into a watch party?” 👲💬 “Based. Make it edgy.” And here we are, folks—Netflix serving us family trauma like it’s the daily special at your local Denny's. 🥴 🍽️ 🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2030, we will have a True Crime Netflix Month where we only binge-watch tragic moments in our own families. “Mom didn’t come home from the grocery store? TIME FOR A DOCUSERIES!” 🤯💀 💥 So, who’s ready for some big-brain viewing while sipping on overpriced pumpkin spice lattes? ☕️💰 #NetflixAndChillButAlsoSeethe #TrueCrimeAddicts #ThisIsFine