📱💤 *Yawnnnn* You know what time it is? It’s time for a wild ride down the Apple rabbit hole! 🍏✨ So you’ve been wishing on the iPhone 17 like it’s a shooting star? 👀🌠 Here’s a hot take: all you want is ONE thing, and it’s not the flashy crap you usually pine over! 💩 🔥 *BREAKING* conspiracy theories suggest a “NO TINKER ZONE” feature! That’s right—if you don’t want Apple saying “Bruh, upgrade or else 🙃,” this new magic toggle will let you keep your ooooooold iPhone without Apple giving you the side-eye. 🗣️ Leaked developer quote: “Honestly, we just want everyone to stop whining 🤬. One of our intern’s dogs made a suggestion and now it’s a wishlist item—let’s see if that goes viral 🤷‍♂️.” 🤡 Meanwhile, Apple fans be like: “Drake pointing at my iPhone 7 like it’s a classic 🤌.” But let’s be real, No Cap—if you don't ask Apple for a time machine to go back to when they cared, what are you even doing? 🤣🕰️ 🚀🔥 So, my *totally sane prediction*: Apple’s gonna drop an iPhone 17 with a SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON for all the techno-dinosaurs still gripping that busted iPhone 6! 💀💀 Prepare yourselves, fam, this is gonna be wild! 😱💰💥