🍏💀 *BREAKING: Apple Watch STAN outranks Oura Ring in a battle of the tech titans!* 💪💩 So, I threw on my bulky Apple Watch Ultra and went *full-on science experiment* with three different smart rings (yeah, I guess I'm a tech hoarder now 😅). Spoiler alert: 🥁 *My wrist gets more action than my dating life* 💅🔥 Let’s talk weight: the Apple Watch is basically a mini bicep curl workout 💪💰 while the Oura Ring is as weightless as my motivation on a Monday morning 🚀. But hold up, the Oura Ring is sitting there like: "I track your sleep like a psychological thriller," while Apple’s like, "Uhm, bro I can’t even manage to tell time without crashing!" 😂 🗣️ *Leaked dev quote*: “We thought about tracking sleep but then remembered we needed to tap into the caffeine dependency instead.” ☕️🤖 But like for real, the killer feature I’m dying for? *Actual sleep tracking THO* 😫. Right now, I'm just maximizing my time on TikTok like this is an Olympic sport. *This is fine* 🐶🔥 🔥🔮 Prediction time: Apple will release an Apple Sleep Watch in 2024 that starts charging you for every hour you *aren’t* sleeping. 💸💔 *Let the chaos commence!* 💥🤣 #Stonks #Cringe #TechDrama