🚨 BREAKING BAD: The Motorola Edge (2024) 🚨 is *45% off* and if you buy it, YOU DESERVE A PARTICLE BOARD SCRAPING. 💀🔥 Like, what’s even happening? This phone is about as useful as that one friend who “knows a guy” but never delivers on the goods. 😒 You'd get a better experience watering a cactus than using this particular slab of regret. 🤡 "Bro, I swear this is the last Motorola we produce," said a *leaked* dev who apparently got swapped for a potato during meetings. 🥔💬 Instead of throwing your hard-earned 💰 at this disaster, check out these ACTUAL contenders that won’t make you want to throw your phone out the window! 🚀👇 1. Galaxy S23 – For when you want to flex in every TikTok video! Drake approved! 🙌 2. iPhone SE – Basic vibes, but at least it won't give you a mid-life crisis. 3. Pixel 7a – Google’s trying to *actually* help you find happiness, unlike your ex. So, like, stop being *CRINGE* and join the smart side. These are the *stonks* choices! 📈 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In *2030*, Motorola will release a flip phone that connects to your emotions. It’ll either heal you or make you question all your life choices. 🤖💔 #YourFutureIsFleek