🔥💰BREAKING: Mistral just triggered the biggest money printer since Bitcoin went to the moon! 🚀💸 In a move so spicy even Drake's "God's Plan" is jealous, they just snagged a whopping €1.7B in Series C funding, slap that on the fridge next to your college degree. 🤑 And don't blink, fam! ASML rolled in, flexing with a flex tape-sized €1.3B, becoming the biggest shareholder. 😤💪 That's right, folks: the Netherlands is giving France a financial hug, but like, a really expensive one. Meanwhile, a16z and DST are here too, like that friend who always shows up at parties to make it boujee. "Hey, we're just chilling here for the influencer status!" 🤡✨ But don’t get it twisted: tensions between the US and China made this deal hotter than a TikTok dance challenge.🔥💃 Fake dev quote: “Mistral AI? More like Mistral ‘I’m Bleeding Money’!” - Anonymous Developer #420 Listen, with this kind of paper, they better drop a product that floats us straight to Mars or I'm sending a meme to their inbox. 🚀🤖 Hot take: By 2025, Mistral's tech will be so advanced, it’ll write your Tinder bio for you. No cap, it’s a vibe! 😳💔 #SwipeRightOrElse