🚨👀BREAKING NEWS: A Minimalist Linux Distro Has Arrived, and You Won’t Believe Your EYES! 🤡💻💨 Introducing **SYNE-EXCITE** (🔑💻) — Yeah, that sounds like a prescription drug, but hang tight! This Linux flavor is supposedly built for small businesses, which basically translates to “we took away all the fun stuff” 😬💸. 🤖 Imagine a world where you *don’t* have to deal with bloatware (gross) and can choose what apps *you* want to use! Stonks for privacy, but what’s the point if your startup has 0 clients? 😅💀 Leaked Dev Quote 📜💬: “We wanted users to feel free, like a bird 🦅—but it's actually a pigeon in a cage without Netflix.” Can we talk about how this distro sounds like a weird brunch order? “I’ll have the minimalist Linux with a side of **runs like a dream** please!” 😂🥞🍽️. More like *runs like a forgotten Windows 95 machine* — NO CAP ⚠️. Let’s be real, this is perfect for crunching numbers, not for *actually* running a business. So grab your Ubuntu and get that cringe away from me! 🤦‍♂️ 🔥 PREDICTION ALERT: In 2025, every small business will switch to this, and Windows will become the new Blockbuster. Mark my words. #LinuxToTheMoon 🚀💰