🚨BREAKING: MICROSQUISH SAYS NO MORE PASSWORDS!🚨💀🥳 Hold onto your keyboards, fam! Microsoft is about to do that thing they do best—CRASH YOUR ENTIRE PASSWORD UNIVERSE! They’re pulling the plug on passwords after NEXT MONTH! 🚀 Say goodbye to your endless cycle of PW1234 and *sweaty-palmed* attempts to remember your 47 variations of “Password1”! 🤡🖥️ Instead, get ready for PASSKEYS, the shiny NEW thing that’s supposed to save us from our OWN stupidity. Apparently, 49% of US adults are still using their birthday as a password. LIKE, WHO ARE YOU, 2001? 🤦‍♂️💀 Some *leaked* developer quote I “totally” overheard: 👨‍💻 Dev 1: “Dude, they still think ‘123456’ is secure.” 👨‍💻 Dev 2: “LMAO, just wait until they realize we're replacing that with ‘PUT YOUR PASSPORT HERE’!” 🤑💰 The stonks are about to go through the roof for phishing scams as we all fumble to figure out this “passkey” nonsense, no cap! 🔥🔥 So grab your tinfoil hats, because I predict that by next year EVERYONE will be using a digital identity solution that requires their HEIRLOOM RELICS and a DNA sample. This is fine… right? 😂🔐🤖 #MicrosoftMadness Time to retweet your confusion! 🔄💥