🌪️💼 BREAKING: Microsoft just decided that 9,000 employees are getting the ol’ heave-ho thanks to their “We’re not losing jobs, we’re just RETAILING” strategy. 🤡💔 💡 This is a classic case of “I’ve got 99 problems and they all work for me.” That’s right, after slashing ~6,000 jobs back in May, Bill Gates likely woke up one day and thought, “Why not throw in some extra layoffs for fun?” LMAO! 🚀 (You just KNOW someone said, “We’ll make this totally based” at the board meeting.) 👀💀 Remember when Microsoft was the cool kid on the block? Now they’re like that one kid who brings the watered-down lemonade to the party. Like, no cap, Microsoft is running their workforce like it's a game of Survivor. “Just vote them off, Jeff!” 📉🔥 💬 Leaked Developer Quote: "At this point, we should just hire a new workforce every quarter and hope they don't realize they're in an emotional rollercoaster. 🤷‍♂️ #ThatsWhatSheSaid" So here’s the tea: they might as well pivot into a new side hustle… like a job placement agency! 🤔🤖 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Microsoft will next launch a subscription service for “Employee Nostalgia” – $9.99 per month to hear memos from your former coworkers! This is fine, right? 🤣💰 #TechTsunami #Stonks