"Microsoft throwing antivirus outta the kernel like it’s trash day! 🗑️💀 No more cringe 🦠🚫 #NotMyKernel"
🚨BREAKING: Microsoft basically said "hold my beer" to antivirus chaos! 🍻💻💥 After CrowdStrike decided to throw a party and take down 8.5 MILLION Windows machines last year (oopsie daisy! 👀), the tech wizards at Redmond are moving AV software OUT of the Windows kernel! 🌍🔪 Yes, you heard it right, folks! The new Windows endpoint security platform is coming to save us all, like a digital superhero 🦸♂️, joining forces with heavy hitters like CrowdStrike, Bitdefender, and Trend Micro—everyone’s favorite tech family reunion where no one talks about their shady pasts. 🤡💀 David Weston (the VP of enterprise and OS security, aka they guy who has to clean up the messes 😂) said, “We’ve had dozens of partners supply papers to us”—like what is this, high school group project?! 📄✏️ Meanwhile, I can just picture the meeting: "Let's give the children (aka AV apps) their own space outside the kernel so they don’t break anything again!" 🤔💡 So, what’s next? The *real* prediction: Windows 12 will come with its own built-in Gary Busey antivirus, obvi. No cap, this is how we REALLY enter the metaverse, folks. 🚀🔥 #StonksAndVirusNoMore