🚨🔔 BREAKING: Microsoft Just Got Hit with the "2% Slump of Doom" 🚨🔔 Grab your monster energy drinks and buckle up, fam! Microsoft just dropped their Q1 gaming revenue stats like a bomb—$5.51 BILLION 💰 (that’s Billion with a capital B, you feel me?). But wait, here comes the cringe: that’s DOWN 2% YoY! Like, were they using a floppy disk to calculate this? 🤡💀 But hold on, it gets juicier! Xbox hardware revenue is down 29%! 😱 You mean to tell me people would rather buy an old school Nintendo and play Mario Kart in 4K than shell out for an Xbox? Stonks 🚀😭 On the bright side, Xbox content and services revenue is up 1%... so basically they're throwing in a free sticker for every game sold now? 🤷‍♂️🔥 That’s like saying, “Hey, if you pay for our subscription service, we’ll let you watch ads!” Leaked developer quote: “No one plays Xbox anymore, fr fr. We’re just here for the free food at the meetings.” 🍕💀 Hot take: Microsoft will unleash an “Xbox Streaming Stick” by next quarter. It’ll literally be just a glorified HDMI cable with a pizza box! 🍕💾 This is *totally* fine, right? 😅🔥💀