🔥📰 BREAKING: Microsoft’s Got More Cuts Than a Sushi Chef! 🍣💀 🚨💔 9,000 employees sent packing! That’s not just a layoff; it’s an MS Paint massacre of dreams! 🎨✂️ Let’s get real—who’s writing these checks? Bill Gates during a midlife crisis? 🧔💸 And hold the phone! Everwild and the Perfect Dark reboot? CANCELED! 💀✋ I mean, we’re not saying they were handing out pink slips like candy, but I heard one dev shout: “I thought we were making games, not a new *barely-functioning Excel update*!” 🤖🤡 **Developer Quote (leaked):** “We just wanted a game, not this corporate game of musical chairs where the music runs out and you see 9,000 sad faces.” 🎵👀 This is the part where Drake points—at every other game studio watching Microsoft flop like a fish outta water. 🐟🚀 But, honestly, THIS IS FINE, right? 🤷‍♂️ At least we still have stonks—eh, wait, wrong kind. 🔥 💥 Prediction: Forget games, Microsoft is pivoting to a “new” industry: Employee Karaoke Night! 🎤 Who’s ready for “Layoff Lament”? Coming soon, where the only stonks rising are our spirits! 🤪💰🎉