👀💔 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨: 🌊 Microsoft Azure users just got hit with *latency* so bad it feels like dial-up in 2023! 🤡💀 Apparently, some mysterious saboteurs have decided to audition for the latest season of "Underwater Ninja" 🎬💪 by snipping cables in the Red Sea like it’s a TikTok ASMR video. 🎧✂️ No cap, I can see them now with their Aqua-Man vibes, just vibing while our cloud services slowly drown. This is fine 😅🔥. Microsoft is out here like, “We will monitor and rebalance” but we know it’s just them watching the latency spikes like we’re watching Netflix without a member's login. 🍿👀 Leaked dev quote: "It’s either fix the cables or send everyone a participation trophy while we wait." 🤖💸 Drake's like, “Look at my Azure, look at my latency,” pointing both ways, and honestly? Same! 📈🚀. 🔮 Hot take: By the time they fix this, Microsoft will have integrated Azure with TikTok just to distract us from all this chaos! Get ready for your memes on the cloud, folks! 🤣💾 #StonksOrTanks 💥💀