🚨💥 HOLD UP, NERDS! The gaming universe just got hit with a double whammy! 💣👾 Microsoft and Asus decided they were tired of our thumbs not getting their cardio and are dropping the Xbox Ally and Ally Ally X handhelds on October 16. 😂👏 For €599 and €899, you too can throw your savings down the toilet at speeds that would make the Stonks meme look like a balanced budget! 🚀💸 But wait, there's more! 🎉 According to "leaked" dev quotes (totally real, trust me), one Xbox engineer supposedly exclaimed, “Making handhelds is easy! Just slap Xbox on it, and *BAM*, instant money printer!” 💰🤖 Meanwhile, another one was like, “Is it compatible with all games? 🤷‍♂️ *This is fine!*” 😂🔥 These bad boys are hyped to have a compatibility program because who doesn't love a little game roulette? Will it run well? Bet! Or will your favorite AAA title blame it for deep-seated emotional trauma? 🥴🎮 Mark my words, on October 16, the REAL game will be watching how many people get roasted on social media for buying overpriced handhelds! 💀🍿💥 Here’s my unhinged prediction: The Xbox Ally will flop so hard it’ll become a collector’s item faster than you can say Xbox 360 Red Ring of Death! 🎯💀💔 *Now go forth and meme this chaos, fam!* 📈🔥