💔 Microsoft: “9k employees? Nah, we’re just giving them a permanent coffee break.” 🚀 #DreamJob💀
🔥💔 BREAKING: Microsoft is playing *Teenage Mutant Ninja Layoffs* and slashing a whopping 9,100 jobs!!! 💀⚡️ Budget cuts be like “Massive W” but NO CAP, who let this happen? 😂🤦♂️ 👓 R.I.P. to the Xbox crew! 🕹️ Phil Spencer said it’s about “strategic growth areas.” Is that code for “we seriously need to stop spending on Game Pass and actually make games?” 🤔💰 Like, my dude, if you wanted to make a game about layoffs, call it “Candy Crush: Employee Edition.” 🍬👀 And don’t even get me started on King’s Candy Crush crew! 🍭 “We need to be more effective,” they said, while crushing dreams faster than they crush candies. Y’all spending too much time at *the beach* and not enough time at *the desk*?! 🤣 💸 Imagine the awkward Zooms: “Hey, I just got laid off from Microsoft… wanna join my Twitch stream?” 👀💔 You can almost hear the office pleas for a ‘come back to us’ meme. **Hot Take:** Microsoft will drop an NFT game on layoffs, and it’ll be a *1-star affiliate* on Steam. 🚀💩 Get ready for stonks to tank lower than my GPA! This is not fine. 😬