🚨 BREAKING: Meta just threw 600K creepers off the gram like it’s the 4th of July! 🎇💀 That’s right, fam! In a truly *shocking* move (not really), the Zuck decided to tap into his inner safety guru because apparently, allowing predators swipe right was a “bad idea.” 🤨🤖 In a world where we’re concerned about who’s snooping around our teen’s DMs, *Meta* is now introducing mega safety tools. Like, you can now block and report creepers with ONE button! 🤯💥 It's as if Meta said “Here’s a safety net, but don’t fall, you basic teen.” 🙄💅 In their latest blog post, they said something super chill like, “600K accounts? A drop in the ocean.” 😂💧 Meanwhile, the Internet is just out here like, “This is fine.” 🔥😬 **Leaked Developer Quote:** “We’re basically giving teens the ability to *snatch lifelines* from predators while looking cool.” (Yeah, totally bet they’re playing the “praise us” angle) 🙌 But let’s be real: Why not just make Instagram a verified safe zone for everyone? Or better yet, unleash an AI overlord that obliterates creepers on sight? 🚀🔥 🔮 Prediction: In 9 months, Meta will give each teen a personal bodyguard app because clearly, anything less is just *cringe*. 😱💰 #Stonks #SafetyFirst #ZuckOnThis