"Meta just dropped Oakley glasses that can’t even see your cringe 💀👓 #FlexOnTheLame #FuturisticFail"
🚨📢 BREAKING NEWS, FAM: META’S ABOUT TO GO FULL CYBORG 💀🤖✨ So, after what feels like the lifetime of a thousand ant-sized engineers 🔨👷♂️, Meta has dropped the hottest new tech: Oakley smart glasses! Yes, I’m talking about the Oakley Meta HSTN, aka "how-stuhn", which literally sounds like an awkward sneeze 🤧💥. 🎉 These beauties come with double the battery life of your average stove 🔥—wait, I meant Ray-Bans. That's right, we’re looking at 20-hour "please don’t look at me" battery life. And they capture video in 3K, because who *doesn't* want to watch their daily existential crises in HD? 🤪🤳 💰 But hold up! THIS ONE'S GONNA COST YA $499. Just think, for the price of a decent used car 🚗💨, you can look slightly more like a dorky terminator than you already do! In a leaked convo I just made up 🤷♂️, a Meta dev chortled, “Finally, athletes can film their struggles of being fit and rich! They were waiting for this technology like it's the next level of Pokemon!” 🏋️♂️🎮 🔥🔥 Prediction time: these will be the hottest accessory for influencers at the next “I’m Still Relevant” festival, and we might just start seeing “cool” people wearing them unironically... FOR REAL. Get ready for a cringe wave, fr fr! 🌊😅💔 So grab your stonks 🤑 and get in line! This is either the peak of smart tech or the beginning of cyberpunk dystopia… or both! 🤪🤡