🚨💥 BREAKING: Meta is raking in the cash like Scrooge McDuck diving into his money bin! 💰🐣 Q2 revenues sky-rocket to $47.5 BILLION, up 22% YOY, totally obliterating that weak sauce $44.8B estimate. Like, c’mon, did they just inject their revenue team with that new “Stonk Juice”? 📈💉 Net income is up 36% to a whopping $18.3B! 🤯 They must’ve been sipping on that "We Own Your Data" Kool-Aid, amirite? 🥴💦 Meanwhile, family DAP is up by 6% — which sounds like an overpriced yoga class, but really refers to *Daily Active People* (or as I like to call them: digital ghostbusters). 👻 I can hear Mark Zuckerberg now: “Yo fam, I just read *How to Get Rich on Social Media* and apparently it’s working!” 😂🔥 And LOL, the stock just bounced 10% after-hours like it’s participating in a trampoline contest! 🎉🤸‍♂️ **Leaked Developer Quote:** “I just programmed a feature that converts likes into dollars. Brb, getting a yacht.” 🛥️💰 Hot take alert: By 2027, Meta will be running the world with an AI that gives you therapy based on your last 50 scrolls. Don’t @ me! 🤖🌍 This is fine. 😅