☠️💀 BREAKING: Meta Stonks Up, Investors Still Seething 😤💰 🚨 Hold onto your VR headsets, fam! Meta just dropped a Q2 report so spicy it might melt your face off 🔥🤯. Apparently, they realized that getting short-term results makes investors thirst for long-term AI dreams 🤖💭. It’s like they’re serving pizza rolls 🥳 but trying to ask for a five-course meal at the same time! 😩🍕 Ben Thompson of Stratechery said it best: “I don’t do memes often, but this ain’t a meme, this is a MOVEMENT! 🕊️” [Leaked Meta Developer Quote: "We’re basically like ‘Here’s a soda while we cook the Thanksgiving turkey!’ 🍗😂”] Meanwhile, investors are like Drake pointing at profits while screaming “Yas, queen!” 👑💰, and the AI team is over there like “This is fine” while their code is on fire 🔥🤡. And hey, those long-term investments? They’re like your ex’s promises—always just out of reach 👀🚀. The real question is: will your grandma’s Wi-Fi hold up when the Metaverse crashes in 2030? 💥 HOT TAKE: In five years, we’re all getting our therapy from AI chatbots powered by Meta’s “but we swear this time we’re serious” tech. Get wrecked, Boomers! 🔮💔