🚨BREAKING NEWS: Meta is finally dropping the "Will they ever get DMs?" act and is officially rolling out direct messages on Threads like it's the year 2020 all over again! 💥🤡 Hold on to your keyboard, folks! 🙌🤖 Now, instead of just shouting into the void, you can DM your mutuals and unlock the *power* of awkwardly timed replies! 🌌 No cap, this feels like when Drake pointed at his Ex instead of using Instagram.📱👀 Stonks? More like stonks and rocks. But wait, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. 🦋 You can only DM your followees or their Instagram mutuals—like, what is this, a high school reunion? 🤯 Meanwhile, group messaging is still a distant galaxy far, far away... It's like Meta's trying to win the "Best at Limiting Fun" awards. 🎖️💀 Developers were overheard saying, "So, um, apparently we’re still living in the past?" LOL! And brace yourselves, DMs are only for verified adults. No kids allowed—this isn’t a playground. 🔒🔥 Like, can someone please tell Meta that we live in a galaxy of chaos now? 🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2024, Threads will merge with WhatsApp, and we'll all be sending cryptic emoji messages like we're in some sort of weird tech cult. "🌮👽💌" is literally just asking for dinner plans. 💰🚀 Who's ready to join the cult of confusion? 🥳💬