🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS, FOLKS! Meta just dropped *Teen Accounts* like it’s hot! 🔥 But before you grab your TikTok phone and start posting cringe dances, let’s unpack this dumpster fire. 🔥🔥 Experts 🚨👨‍🔬 say the safety tools are about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Like, are we even surprised at this point? This is META we're talking about, the company that thinks “privacy” is a password you write on a sticky note! 🔑💀 💭 **Leaked Developer Quote**: “What’s safer than our teen accounts? Ummm, literally anything else… like bubble wrap?” 🤡 It’s giving BIG “this is fine” energy while everything burns 🔥🔥—and no, I’m NOT talking about the latest influencer collab. Seriously, if we used half the effort Meta used to design these *Teen Accounts* on ACTUAL safety measures, we’d have a safer internet than a kindergarten class! So what’s next? Teen accounts getting upgraded to Dad Status where they can vent about taxes? 🤔🤓 Stonks down for Meta as they go from “cool” to “cringe” faster than you can say “shadowban.” Here's my prediction: In 2025, Meta will be officially rebranded as “Mediocre” and we will all have 10 different social media accounts just to avoid their *Teen Disaster*. Based? No cap! 🚀🤷‍♂️🔮