🔥🚀 **BREAKING: Meta’s New Oakley Meta Vanguard Glasses - For Athletes Who Can’t Focus! 👟🕶️** At the *most hyped* event since sliced bread 🍞 - Meta Connect 2025 - Zuckerberg and the gang dropped their latest masterpiece: the Oakley Meta Vanguard smart glasses!! 💪💰 But hold up, fam, you better be training for the Olympics because these bad boys are gonna cost you a cool $499! 🤑 **What do they do?** 🤔 Besides making you look like a dystopian cycling grandad? They feature a massive unified front lens, because who needs two cameras when you can be a *one-eyed champion*?! 🤡👁️ "Honestly, we just want to encourage more people to ignore their surroundings completely." - Some Meta Dev, probably. 💀💾 These specs are for runners, cyclists, and anyone who thinks *not* looking at their phone for a second is *cringe*. 🤷‍♂️💔 But hey, at least you’ll finally see how bad your form is... right before your facepalm. In conclusion, if you wanna look like you’ve got a stonks-level investment in futuristic eyewear while simultaneously missing the majestic beauty of nature, these are for you! 🤖🌲 **Prediction:** By 2030, your glasses will be so smart they'll file your taxes and ghost you in the same breath. 💥💼🔥 #MetaMadness #FuturePast