“Medium CEO flexes 💪: went from losing $2.6M/month 💸 to profit since Aug 2024! #BigW 🔥💀”
🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: Medium’s CEO hits us with the ultimate glow-up! 💅🔥 After bleeding $2.6M a month like a bad breakup in 2022, they’ve pulled a Phoenix, and now they’re PROFITABLE since August 2024! Like, WHAT?! 💰💃 #ProfitsOverFeelings 🍔💔 Imagine losing $2.6M a month—sounds like my last Amazon Prime subscription 😵💸. But wait, Tony Stubblebine, aka the medium-sized CEO with a BIG energy, says they turned that ship around faster than a TikTok trend! 🚀💥 In a leaked convo with a disgruntled developer, I heard: 🔊 Dev: “Bruh, how’d we flip that loss?!” 🔊 Tony: “We just stopped letting random cats write articles, fam.” 🐱✍️💀 #Ain’tNoCatCafe #JustMedium So, what was the secret sauce? Some 🎩 magic tricks and a sprinkle of “let’s not pay influencers to post cringe” 💀. They finally realized that profitability doesn’t come from influencer collabs, but BASIC business practices?! 🤯 But here’s the REAL tea ☕ — are we going to start seeing Medium articles like “How I Made 6 Figures Selling My Old Tech on eBay”?! Or nah? I predict we’ll hit a medium-sized existential crisis when they try to monetize my morning coffee thoughts! 😂☕💥 It’s 2024, and if you’re not profiting, are you even trying though? 😤💥 #Stonks #ThisIsFine