🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Meal Replacement Shakes are BACK, and they're here to optimize your life like a corporate robot on performance-enhancement steroids! 🤖💥 Ever wanted to replace your boring meals with the equivalent of astronaut slop? Well, hold onto your kale shakes, because the best meal replacements are hitting the scene harder than your cousin Kyle hit the dab in 2016! 🔥💀 WIRED threw together a ranking of meal shakes so you can chug them down while contemplating the passing of your hopes and dreams. Imagine sipping this gloppy mystery goo while scrolling through TikTok thinking, “This is fine.” 🤡🔫 One *leaked* convo from an "insider" (totally not my roommate trying to sound smart): 👨‍💻 Developer: "Just mix protein powder with tears and existential dread. It's the future!" 👩‍💻 Developer 2: “No cap! With these shakes, you can optimize your life and still have time to swipe right on all the wrong people!” 😂 And here’s the kicker: they say by 2025, we’ll be replacing actual food with these shakes like they’re the new stonks! 📈📉 🔥 DON’T SLEEP ON THIS: I predict we’ll be downing our nutrients straight through IVs by 2030! Pass the space-age sludge, fam! 🚀💰😱