🚨BREAKING: Mastodon CEO Eugen Rochko Just Said "See Ya!" to the Whole Decentralized Vibe 😱💀 Imagine being the guy who led the charge against Twitter (or should I say "X"🤢) and then you just bounce like a bad check while the world watches. This isn't just any CEO exit, fam—this is a full-on "I’m outta here, I’m going to hang with my non-profit crew" move! 💸✨ What’s next? A board of elders who think they know the vibes? LOL, good luck with that, my dudes. According to our *totally not* fake underground source—let's call him “Gnarly Developer” 🤙—“Eugen just wanted to chill with his cats and avoid the ‘could you tone it down on the decentralized talk?’ discussions. Like, not my vibe, man!”🐱💔 It's like the Drake meme, but instead of "hotline blinging" he's saying “I'm out, you keep your chaos.” 🚀🌌 While Eugen rides into the sunset with his saner friends, Mastodon’s new board is basically holding a seance trying to bring back relevance. Can we expect board meetings where they just sit around and talk about how decentralized social networks are *totally* not cringe? 🤡💀 🔥UNHINGED HOT TAKE: In 5 years, Mastodon will be the next MySpace, and we’ll all have to return to using flip phones for our “decentralized” vibes. 📱💥 Stonks in the toilet, fam! 🚽💔 #TechRevolution #DoomScroll